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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23684764">Infected</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Headphone_Love/pseuds/Headphone_Love'>Headphone_Love</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Let's See Some Change [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Male Character, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, First Love, Fluid Sexuality, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hinata Shouyou &amp; Kageyama Tobio Friendship, Homophobic Language, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, Kageyama Tobio is a Good Friend, M/M, Protective Sugawara Koushi, Romantic Fluff, Self-Acceptance, Self-Hatred, Sexuality Crisis, Triggers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:41:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,243</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23684764</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Headphone_Love/pseuds/Headphone_Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The elder’s eyes hardened and Shouyou felt oddly suffocated under the gaze. His uncle raised a hand, pointing to the television as if it were still on and scowling. </p><p>“That is poison. It’ll infect your mind and give you ideas that will get you thrown into a hospital,” the man threatened as Shouyou tensed. </p><p>His stomach churned at the thought.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Sugawara Koushi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Let's See Some Change [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/747993</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>280</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Lookin' Through A Screen, I'm Here in Front of You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A redo of an old request from way back when. Three years later, how has my writing changed? </p><p>Trigger Warnings are in the tags but just in case:<br/>-Internalized Homophobia, Homophobia, homophobic language.<br/>-Violence (his uncle DOES get violent in one chapter. Be warned.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shouyou’s eyes were wide, taking in the news report with intense curiosity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The scene was colorful: people dancing and cheering to the upbeat music. Some were scantily clad—enough to make Shouyou’s cheeks heat until they were a deep red—and others dressed in all sorts of color patterns. Many of the people were holding hands, some were sitting on the shoulders of their friends, and Shouyou was sure he even saw a few kids like him there with paint on their cheeks and flags in hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Parade,” Shouyou whispered, a moment later tensing that the word had slipped so naturally. English had never been his strong suit, but while his classmates memorized the boring stuff, he had always been inclined to the more exciting words. Ice-cream, meat, party, smile, laugh, pretty...those were words he remembered. Even ‘parade’ had been a bit surprising though, considering that he had missed it on his first English test when they first learned it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Shouyou wondered why these people were celebrating, he could see the camera angle change as it moved towards the floats rather than the crowd. Two guys became the focus and Shouyou could see why. They were covered in glitter, sweating like crazy but smiling as if the world truly didn’t matter. Their hands were raised to the sky and Shouyou felt his next breath stutter out of him when he noticed the matching rings. The way they looked at each other had him thinking of his parents and how they stared at each other when they thought he wasn’t paying attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love,” Shouyou said aloud, the word not doing much in the sense of triggering a feeling on its own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When thinking about the word concerning his parents, however, a warmth came over him as he smiled. Love was a good thing, which meant that those men if in love, were happy like his parents. It all made so much sense that Shouyou felt a sense of excitement at the idea that everyone could love just like his parents could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which meant that Shouyou could love as well, right? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unknowingly, Shouyou leaned in even more, hands on the wooden floor beneath him. He bit his lip, taking in as much as he could until the screen went dark and greeted him with his reflection. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha?!” he shouted, raising his hands to the screen until he heard a throat clear. He turned with a pout on his lips until he met eyes with his uncle, all color draining from his face. He stood immediately, brushing off his uniform and standing as straight as he could. “Uncle,” he started, trying his best to avoid the other’s eyes. “Welcome back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man grunted in response and did a once over before turning and tossing the remote onto one of the couches. Shouyou nearly let out a breath of relief until the man spoke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why were you watching that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou parted his lips, looking at the now blank screen, then back to his uncle. His impulse was to be honest and talk about how amazing what he’d seen on the screen was. He wanted to tell his uncle all about the word ‘love’ and how seeing it made him feel almost as excited as volleyball did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet…Shouyou had learned to read the room when his uncle was around at a much younger age than his cousins and other family members. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouyou.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was,” Shouyou began, not having meant to get lost in thought. His cheeks grew heated, but not for the same reason as they had earlier. “...looking for volleyball stats on the news. Like we always do,” he admitted, slowly raising his eyes to see his uncle was staring at him, unblinking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” his uncle spoke, tilting his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou nodded quickly. “Really!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His uncle waited as if Shouyou would confess if he said nothing. When Shouyou remained silent, the man hummed and walked over to him. He placed a stern hand on the back of his neck, in a way that had Shouyou standing up straighter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t watch things like that,” the man warned, loosening his grip. He raised a hand to place it atop his head instead, ruffling at his hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou closed one eye at the gesture, touching the area his uncle’s hand had been and frowning. “Why…shouldn’t I watch it?” he asked, pushing his luck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The elder’s eyes hardened and Shouyou felt oddly suffocated under the gaze. His uncle raised a hand, pointing to the television as if it were still on and scowling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is poison. It’ll infect your mind and give you ideas that will get you thrown into a hospital,” the man threatened as Shouyou tensed. His stomach churned at the thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hospital?” Shouyou whispered as the man turned to leave the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “They’ll have to shock the infection right out of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not wanting to go to the hospital or get shocked, Shouyou bowed his head and picked at the skin around his fingernails. “Yes, uncle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Focus on volleyball and finding a nice woman and settling down once you get older,” the man stated as if it were all Shouyou had to do in life. “That way you’ll not be shameful to your parents,” he finished. Before he could fully exit the room, he stopped, moving to the couch and grabbing the remote. He held it up so Shouyou could see it, taking it with him as he left as if to be sure of something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he was gone, Shouyou sank to his knees and wiped the sweat that had formed on his brow. His thoughts were running wild, the warmth from earlier shifting into unbearable heat that made him feel nauseous. He did his best to breathe in and out, tugging at the collar of his uniform to ease the tightness around his neck. It did nothing to help, however. Shouyou only returned to reality when he heard a much kinder voice calling to him from the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shou! Can you come to help me with the dishes before dinner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay!” he called back immediately, voice sounding far off and distant to his ears. His legs felt heavy as he paddled towards the kitchen, a smile on his lips to reassure his mother that everything was fine.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“Who is next to spin?” one of the girls said with a giggle, pointing at each person in the circle. “You? Or you? Maybe you?” she teased, eyes landing on Shouyou with a glint of mischief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At thirteen, Shouyou hadn’t expected to be put in a situation that would have his first kiss in jeopardy. He was both terrified and excited, wondering which girl would be the one he told his future friends about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you, Hinata? You haven’t gone yet, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The echo of ‘Ooooo’ from his classmates had Shouyou turning red in the face as he laughed and shrugged his shoulders. “Should I?” he asked with a wink, grabbing the bottle and pretending that his hand wasn’t shaking in the process. He spun it as hard as he could, most of the girls in the circle leaning in while the guys talked among themselves, completely uninterested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes shifted to the blond sitting next to him, the only girl who had been quiet during the duration of the game. She had long eyelashes and pretty pink cheeks. If Shouyou had to name a type, he’d say her in an instant with how cute she was. It was like a door opened and for a moment, he felt at ease with this game. If it meant he got to kiss such a cute person, how could it be as scary as he thought?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gasps from the circle along with a roar of laughter had Shouyou looking away from the blonde, seeing that the bottle had stopped. He followed the bottle, eyes raising to see brown eyes staring back at him with equally surprised eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hinata has to kiss Sato!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And just like that, the door shut in Shouyou’s face and locked itself from the inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sato stood, stretching his legs out and walking over so casually it made Shouyou envious. The fellow student stood in front of him, leaning forward and grabbing Shouyou by the loosened tie. He pulled him in, lips by his ear in a way that had Shouyou’s cheeks ablaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No need to look so scared, man. This is just a game. I don’t play for that team,” Sato assured as he pulled away only to pressed his lips against Shouyou’s. They were soft, a lot softer than Shouyou had been expected. Sato broke the kiss first and Shouyou felt relief that it was over until the circle heckled them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh c’mon, that was barely a peck, let alone a kiss!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that counts!” Shouyou insisted, eyeing Sato as if worried he’d be disgusted. Instead, Sato shrugged, moving so he was sitting in front of Shouyou in a way much more comfortable than his previous stance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Popular vote, sorry, just endure it a bit longer,” Sato said with a nod before pulling at the tie again, connecting their lips. Shouyou let out a noise of surprise, but when he felt the eyes on him, he shut his eyes tightly. It was fine, until Sato began to actually move, the flick of a tongue startling Shouyou into gasping. Sato seemed to smile against his lips at the sound, the hand around his tie loosening and moving to the back of his neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou’s mind went blank, his instinct to lean in earning a hum of approval from Sato. When the fellow student pulled away, he licked his lips and Shouyou mirrored the gesture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sato turned to the circle, brow raised and finger pointing at them all. His other hand remained on the back of Shouyou’s neck, burning his prints into his skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyone want to debate that one being too short?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guys all seemed to chuckle lightly as if both shocked and uncomfortable at the scene. The girls, however, were all giggling amongst themselves and seeming pleased at the display. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I say no will you do it again?” the girl from earlier joked, breaking the tension as everyone laughed, Shouyou even managing to force one out that sounded somewhat natural.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sato’s hand tightened on the back of his neck as he laughed as if he needed something to ground him in the chaos that was their friend group. He removed the hand, placing it over his eyes as he shook his head. Shouyou could see the bit of pink on his cheeks from laughing so hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You guys are something else!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou nodded in agreement, shoving the other playfully and doing his best to keep calm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because to everyone else, this was a game. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But to Shouyou… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure some other people wouldn’t mind kissing me for longer,” Shouyou joked, turning and winking at the girls in the circle. The group had another round of ‘ooooh's before the next player was picked. Shouyou only allowed the smile to slip when everyone’s focus returned to the bottle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the inside, the feeling of terror remained, yet not for a reason Shouyou could ever tell a soul.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Entering high school was a moment of truth for Shouyou.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not only was it a chance for him to prove himself, but a chance to leave all that he’d gone through behind. He had made great memories and friends in middle school, but he had also had some equally awful experiences that had shaped him into who he was currently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would focus on building strictly platonic relationships, that being all he needed. The only love he needed was what he had for volleyball, especially if he was going to go to the Olympics to kick Kageyama’s ass. He had been positive that with an actual team, he’d be able to train enough to stand on the same court as Kageyama Tobio. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except for the fact that this same Kageyama Tobio was now on his team and the person Shouyou was supposed to call his </span>
  <em>
    <span>setter</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It didn't help that Kageyama was even colder than when they’d first met, refusing to toss to Shouyou despite the ginger’s incessant requests. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ll toss to anyone who is essential to winning. But I don’t think you are essential to winning right now.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was crushing: to hear such words coming from someone that was meant to be on his team. It had sent shockwaves through Shouyou’s body and kept him glued to the ground that he stood on. Shouyou began to question whether this was what he was meant to do after all. Maybe Shouyou was meant to do something like track or soccer instead of volleyball. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the realization had come. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou had questioned a lot in his life, but volleyball would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> be one of them. Sure, he could have cried with how frustrating the words had been, but instead, he decided to use it as fuel. He practiced non-stop, ran more every day, practiced with all the other team members.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet, even after all that, why did he feel like it wasn’t helping at all? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hinata,” the setter said, snapping Shouyou from his thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” Shouyou asked, still looking at the volleyball in his hands with a look of concentration.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could set for you if you’d like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words he'd been wanting to hear had him perking, eyes bright at the offer. The white-haired setter grinned wide, holding up a “V” sign. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am Karasuno’s official setter, you know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou felt his cheeks flush in excitement, though a moment after he returned to sulking, lips pouting and eyes on the ground. “I feel like if you did that….I’d kinda feel like I’ve lost,” he grumbled, grip tightening on the volleyball. He needed Kageyama to set to him to give him some sort of proof he was getting better. He needed to be essential to the team. He needed to be an asset to them as much as they were to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other laughing at him caught him off guard, Shouyou looking up at him with confusion on his face. Sugawara had an oddly nice laugh: one that was calming yet so sincere it could never be faked. It made Shouyou feel comfortable, though he wondered whether it was simply because the elder was his superior or if it was because of how kind he naturally looked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just consider this. If he was your most formidable rival, now he is your most formidable ally!” Sugawara assured, his smile showing that he fully believed the words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou, unsure of whether it was the exhaustion hitting him or the fact that this third-year was a lot wiser than he thought, felt a sense of clarity come over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kageyama was not the game or the end-all, be-all of the situation. He was Shouyou’s teammate whether the setter liked it or not. Letting out a shaky breath at this new way of seeing this situation, Shouyou nodded enthusiastically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“R...right!” he answered, eyes determined. He bowed his head, shutting his eyes. “Thank you, Sugawara-san!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou tensed, a hand in his hair making him hold his breath. He looked up slowly, the hand not leaving his hair as he met eyes with Sugawara. The setter had a lot kinder eyes than most people he often ran into. His gut twisted slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m always here if you need advice, remember that,” the third-year reminded, holding up a finger. “One rule to being a good senpai is being able to help a kohai in a time of uncertainty.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sense of unease left Shouyou slowly, eyes flickering mischievously. “Does that mean you’re doing this so I call you a good senpai?” he asked with a slightly teasing tone to his words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara pulled his hand away in surprise, a slight tint crossing his cheeks. “Oi, your senpai is trying to help you!” he said as he reached out to grab him, though Shouyou moved away easily and grinned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you have! I’ll remember that </span>
  <em>
    <span>senpai</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Shouyou said with a laugh as he ran off, Sugawara running after him, telling him he would have to receive twice as many spikes to make up for lost time. Shouyou figured that was more so a favor, as it meant the setter would be spending lunches with him even more than before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The smile on his face grew wider.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Over and Over and Over, Again and Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Something wrong, Sugawara-san?”</p><p>As if waiting for the question, Sugawara sighed in relief and placed his food down slowly. “You…you fell asleep. And you mentioned something.”</p><p>“Oh?” Shouyou asked with a tilt of his head. “What did I say? Did I curse Kageyama again?”</p><p>“No, you…you said you didn’t want to be infected.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Uncle!” Natsu’s excited voice called as Shouyou tensed at the doorway. He slowly looked up to see his uncle smiling wide and picking her up into his arms carefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, my little Natsu is not so little anymore!” the elder chuckled as he placed a kiss on her head and placed her back down. Shouyou felt a bit conflicted at the sight, both glad to see a familiar glimpse into his past yet sad he would never experience it again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uncle,” Shouyou spoke slowly, the elder turning to him only once Natsu had run into the kitchen to greet their mother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouyou,” the man responded, the smile gone from his features and hands folding in front of him where he stood. “Dinner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou, unable to say anything else, just nodded and left his stuff at the doorway. He would pick it up later along with Natsu’s things. He followed the man, entering the kitchen and moving to the sink to wash both his hands and Natsu’s. Natsu was already going off about her day at her daycare, his uncle listening intently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And there was this boy who was being super rude!” Natsu added once she had dried her hands, puffing her cheeks out in a huff. “He kept drawing all over my pictures!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou heard his uncle chuckle as he washed his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, my little gingerbread. He only did that because he probably likes you!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or he is a rude kid,” Shouyou interjected, not needing to turn to feel his uncle’s eyes on his back. He continued to scrub his hands, as his mother spoke up from her place by the stove. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouyou has a point,” she said with a thoughtful nod. “Those who like you should show it through kindness, not rough play.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ay, boys don’t do that. They only know how to express themselves through rough play!” his uncle defended. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouyou has never hit a girl or hurt someone he liked. He wrote cards and gave them extra treats on Valentine's,” his mother said with a fond smile, pride in her eyes at the idea of her son being so gentle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” his uncle grunted, effectively ending the conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou finally managed to get the courage to shut the water off. His hands stung, aching as he moved to his seat. He waited for his mother to place the food on the table, prepared to help with serving when his uncle cleared his throat. Shouyou shrunk back into his seat, his mother pretending not to notice. Only when she was done serving and moving around the table did she place a hand on his shoulder to show she was there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It did nothing under the burning gaze of his uncle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all began to eat quietly, Natsu being the only one to chatter happily, not seeming to have noticed the atmosphere. It was only when she quieted down due to the urging of their mother that his uncle spoke again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speaking of relationships, have you got a girlfriend yet?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou nearly flinched as the food on his fork slipped back onto the plate. He had known it was coming, but it didn’t make it any less intense with his uncle staring at him the way he often did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His uncle parted his lips to speak, but his mother beat him to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is volleyball going, sweetie?” she questioned lightly. “I saw you got a jersey. I’ll be sure to cheer for number 10, yeah?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou let out a small breath, nodding. “It’s great. The setters on our team are amazing,” he began, feeling revived at the fact that he’d be able to go and play at school tomorrow without the eyes of his uncle. “Kageyama can make the ball go wherever he wants, and Sugawara-san is the official setter and can make the ball feel like it is floating!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother looked more and more excited the more he spoke, the expression urging him to go on until his uncle let out a breath and spoke to himself quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All this talk about your teammates and you don’t have one girl you could mention?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The urge to talk faded instantly, Shouyou’s smile twitching before falling as he focused on his plate. He heard when his mother’s chair scraped back, a sign she had moved to stand. She never allowed the chairs to scrape so carelessly like that, and Shouyou regrets having ruined dinner so early. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had to be a record. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gin, can I speak to you privately for a moment?” she asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m eating,” he responded, poking at the food with his fork as she cleared her throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s important.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natsu looked at Shouyou curiously, tilting her head. Shouyou pretended not to notice as their uncle let out an exasperated sigh and followed her without another word. He smiled at Natsu as he left, but didn’t bother to spare Shouyou a glance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are they talking now?” Natsu asked once they had gone, Shouyou swallowing hard and trying to warm his hands as best he could without being obvious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who knows? Though it seemed really important, huh?” he said with a small laugh. “Eat your food, Natsu. I am sure they will be back soon,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shrugged, continuing to eat as Shouyou placed a hand on his stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had lost his appetite.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>That night, Shouyou continued to toss and turn, unable to remain asleep as his nightmare looped whenever he shut his eyes. He tried to dream about anything else: volleyball, His family, His team, </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite this, each dream ended with him flinching awake and nearly falling off the bed, arms over his face and sweat covering his body. His arms slowly lowered once he was sure he was awake, but his breath was unable to return to normal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He curled into himself and stared at the wall until it was light enough outside to get up without seeming suspicious.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Shouyou’s head rolled forward, snapping back instantly when he remembered he wasn’t at home, but at school. He let out a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut and opening them again in an attempt to stay awake. His mouth was dry as he looked around for his water. Sugawara held it out easily as if knowing he’d need it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Shouyou murmured, drinking it as Sugawara cleared his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence that came over them both had Shouyou curious, as Sugawara was always talking about something Asahi or Daichi did during their times together. Now, he was so silent that Shouyou had nearly forgotten he was there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Placing the water down, Shouyou smiled cautiously. “Something wrong, Sugawara-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if waiting for the question, Sugawara sighed in relief and placed his food down slowly. “You…you fell asleep. And you mentioned something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Shouyou asked with a tilt of his head. “What did I say? Did I curse Kageyama again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you…you said you didn’t want to be infected.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Sucking in a breath, Shouyou was glad he hadn’t been drinking anything when Sugawara said that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Infected with what, I guess is what I’m asking?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, what?” Shouyou responded, words sounding as if his head was underwater. He had never said those words out loud, as far as he knew. It anyone had heard them, they might figure out what he meant and then they’d give him the same look his uncle gave him and—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouyou, </span>
  <em>
    <span>breathe</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sugawara whispered, hands on his shoulders to help ground him. Shouyou hadn’t even noticed how tight his chest had gotten, letting out all his breath at once and coughing into his elbow while Sugawara rubbed his back gently. He raised a hand, laying his palm flat against his chest and focusing on the warmth from both that and Sugawara’s hand on his back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…wow,” Shouyou said with a forced laugh that had Sugawara frowning. “Sorry, that happens sometimes. When I’m caught off guard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t apologize. Are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!” Shouyou said with a grin that felt off on his face. “The infected comment was from a movie I watched last weekend. I’ve been having nightmares about it every night!” he explained, eyes on his water bottle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara hummed at the information, reaching out to touch the first year’s cheek gently. He forced Shouyou to raise his face, looking over it carefully. Shouyou should have known that Sugawara had come to know him better than most of the team. Only Kageyama could probably rival him at this point. Maybe Yamaguchi, considering their time together when practicing serves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do look a bit tired,” Sugawara pointed out as his eyes scanned Shouyou’s face. “Why would you watch movies like that knowing how you are?” he asked in an attempt to lighten the mood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou looked away, laughing nervously. His heart was racing entirely too fast, the same applying to his thoughts. Whenever Sugawara touched him, even if it was only a tap on the shoulder or pat on the back, he would begin to feel a bit too ‘gwah!’ for his liking. He raised a hand to brush the other’s hand away, knowing it was for the best. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know…wanted to see if my tolerance went up. It hasn’t,” Shouyou said, though Sugawara still didn’t seem entirely too convinced. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, at least you know,” Sugawara agreed, eyes remaining on the shorter male. His smile returned, hand moving to grab at his chopsticks. He resumed eating silently, Shouyou unable to do the same with his bento. He covered it, saving the majority of it for later and clearing his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanna practice now?” he asked, beginning to remove his sweater. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha? You sure you don’t want to eat a little more?” Sugawara insisted, frowning at the sudden request. “I don’t want you collapsing on me from overwork.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou waved his hand dismissively and began to jump where he stood as a warm-up. “I am sure! I am too pumped to continue sitting around like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara’s expression melted into a smile as he let out a laugh—half air and half sound—and nodded, covering his lunch and removing his sweater. “You better be ready, your receives could still use a bit of work. Let’s try to knock out some of your bad habits now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou, glad for the distraction, nodded with a slight grin, not missing the way that Sugawara returned it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right!”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Shouyou rubbed his stomach as he walked with Kageyama, chattering about practice and how they could improve on their quick. Kageyama seemed to be engaged in the conversation, Shouyou continuing to walk and talk until he realized there was no one beside him. He turned, Kageyama staring at him with narrowed eyes that had him frowning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You eat something weird?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blinking, Shouyou looked down at his hand, letting it drop as he rolled his eyes. “That’s why you stopped?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Answer the question,” Kageyama insisted with a look that showed he wouldn’t let it go. Sugawara might be kind enough to let things be, but Shouyou had long since learned that Kageyama was not the same. He cracked a smile, effectively confusing Kageyama.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I was thinking about it too. I don’t think I ate anything that would cause it,” Shouyou admitted, internally glad that he and Kageyama had a similar wavelength. He hadn’t known how to bring up his stomach pain to anyone on the team without freaking them out considering how important he and Kageyama were to the upcoming training camps and matches. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kageyama sighed, walking towards him. It would have intimidated him back when they first met, but now Shouyou watched him with a calm heart and mind. Kageyama moved past him, nudging him in the process. “Don’t go getting sick. We still need to practice the quick and make sure we raise the accuracy rate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if given permission, Shouyou turned and followed him, jumping up and wrapping an arm around him with a grin. “I know that, Bakageyama. I won’t. I just…” he trailed off, grin slipping as he remembered what his problem truly was. His arm slid off of Kageyama’s shoulders, the taller of the two going from annoyed to concern at the sudden silence. Shouyou let out a shaky breath, looking Kageyama in the eye and swallowing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I ask you a question, promise you won’t freak out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The urge to tell Kageyama had come from nowhere, but Shouyou hadn’t been great at controlling his impulses. It was probably one of the reasons he was in such a hard spot if he were honest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kageyama squinted. “Depends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On?” Shouyou asked curiously, Kageyama rolling his neck and lifting the strap to his duffle slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On whether it involves volleyball or not. If you were to ask what would happen if you quit, I’d kick your ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As if I’d ever!” Shouyou gasped, insulting that Kageyama would even consider that a possible question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then nothing else you say would make me freak out,” the setter assured, though Shouyou seriously doubted that. Sensing his doubt, Kageyama growled. “Spit it out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clearing his throat, Shouyou obliged. “Dating,” he blurted, Kageyama going from irritated to wide-eyed. If Shouyou had to put a name to the emotion, it looked almost terrified, and that had him in near hysterics as he laughed and placed his hands on his knees to steady himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hinata!” Kageyama hissed, recovering from the shock as Shouyou sniffed and let out deep breaths, attempting to calm down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You looked so scared! I’m sorry!” Shouyou said between bouts of giggles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a huff, Kageyama turned and began to walk again, only for Shouyou to realize his mistake and run around him. He stood in front of Kageyama with his arms out, expression growing serious again. Kageyama raised a brow, removing his hands from his pockets to cross his arms impatiently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just…” Shouyou began. Clearing his throat. “How do you know when…when…you know,” he trailed off as Kageyama sighed deeply.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t know,” the setter insisted, “Be more specific, idiot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou bit his lower lip and cleared his throat. “Gay. How do you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes remained downcast, gut fluttering the more he thought about what Kageyama’s reaction would be. They had finally managed to have a conversation that was normal and Shouyou had to go and—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well do you like guys?” Kageyama questioned calmly, Shouyou shooting his gaze up to meet blue eyes. Swallowing hard, Shouyou parted his lips only to close them again. He repeated this a few times until the words he’d been meaning to say managed to escape. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...I think so,” he said with a small nod. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What makes you think so?” Kageyama continued, as Shouyou thought about it for a few seconds. The first thing to pop into his head was his first kiss, cheeks bleeding red as he cleared his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Experience,” is all Shouyou offered as Kageyama raised a brow, but accepted the answer with a nod. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Do you like girls?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou tilted his head, then nodded again, this time much less hesitant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then you could be several things,” Kageyama said without another thought. “Though I am not entirely sure why that would be bothering you. Since when have you cared about things like that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since my—” Shouyou started, but he silenced his words quickly. “I just have been. Isn’t it weird? Liking guys?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kageyama snorted. “About as weird as liking girls,” he said easily. “Relationships overall are weird and confusing. That’s why I am not interested in them at all,” he muttered under his breath. “The world would be a lot easier if it was all about volleyball.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou agreed internally but was still a bit skeptical about Kageyama’s response. It seemed too easy as if something was coming and this was a false win. He yelped when he felt a slap against his back, Kageyama staring ahead instead of at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get hung up on a title. Just do what you want. You are used to doing that anyway, aren’t you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou perked up, eyes wide at the advice. “You…since when are you so good with people, Bakageyama?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kageyama’s eye twitched as he reached out to grab at his hair. Shouyou dodged, Kageyama not far behind as he cursed under his breath.“That is the last time I will help you with your shitty problems, you dumbass!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou let out a laugh—bright and unabashed—the air against his face cooling him down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for the talk anyway, Kageyama!” he said sincerely, only spurring the setter into speeding up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You better run!”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 'Cause I Don't Wanna Be Like Them</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“You always ask me why I don’t have a girlfriend yet,” Shouyou pointed out, his uncle nodding at the words. “I wanted to talk to you about that.”</p><p>His uncle immediately seemed more interested, eyes widening ever so slightly. “Do you have a girlfriend?” he asked, looking so hopeful that Shouyou wanted to throw up on the carpet.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shouyou let out a breath as he paced in front of the door. His talk with Kageyama had spurred this…impulsive decision because of how well it had gone. He knew it was stupid and that his uncle was by far not Kageyama. Kageyama, as harsh as he was, never aimed to hurt Shouyou when he smacked him on the head or pushed him out of the way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His uncle had never hit him either, though, which meant that there was a chance here.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Having settled his thoughts, Shouyou turned to the door and raised a fist to knock confidentiality. Only a moment later, as if coming to his senses, he huffed and let the fist fall while returning to his pacing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was a dumb idea. His uncle was </span>
  <em>
    <span>known</span>
  </em>
  <span> to hate people like Shouyou. Kageyama had been impartial to it all, if anything pitying Shouyou for liking both genders, but not </span>
  <em>
    <span>hating</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. His uncle had made his stance clear in all these years from comments to making him watch shows that only had straight couples. He even remembered his uncle trying to talk to him about what couples did when they loved each other and things of that nature, but Shouyou had been too mortified to even listen and changed the subject fairly quickly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So how would his uncle react to the fact that his nephew—who he had loved and spoiled until that fateful day when he was ten years old—could possibly like men just as much as he liked women. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perhaps even more than that? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou stopped pacing at the thought, eyes wide at the realization that had crashed into him. He couldn’t even decipher what it was that he felt, let alone explain it in words. Maybe he should wait to tell him when he was entirely sure and—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou flinched and turned, meeting eyes with his uncle who looked to be in a bad mood already. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“U…Uncle! You weren’t in your room?” Shouyou whispered, clearing his throat to regain his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was in the bathroom. Can a man not piss in peace?” the man grunted, moving to the guest room and opening the door. It creaked in a way that had a shudder moving down Shouyou’s spine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry uncle,” Shouyou murmured, bowing his head a bit at the man just sighed and entered the room. He swallowed hard and wondered why he had needed to come and do this without so much as a plan. He should have waited, especially considering his current realization. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou hadn’t even begun to understand his mind and interests…how was he meant to convince his uncle they were normal?  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well? Are you going to come in or should I shut the door in your face?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou straightened, entering quickly as the door closed behind him. The room itself was dark, the television flickering on a random channel. The lights were dimmed, no doubt due to his Uncle’s refusal to waste electricity. It was as if Shouyou had stepped back in history, this no doubt being a similar situation that his father and uncle had been in as kids. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The more Shouyou thought about it, the more he regretted doing this at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So? Speak, boy. I don’t have all night.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou nodded and offered him a smile. “I wanted to talk to you about something,” he began quietly. “It’s important, so listen until I finish, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His uncle, seeming confused by the explanation, crossed his arms. “Did you go and kill someone? Why the preface?” he asked with a raised brow. “Go on, I am listening,” he promised, seeming intrigued in what he had to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘For how long, though?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Shouyou thought as his stomach tightened until he was forced to let out a breath to ease it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You always ask me why I don’t have a girlfriend yet,” Shouyou pointed out, his uncle nodding at the words. “I wanted to talk to you about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His uncle immediately seemed more interested, eyes widening ever so slightly. “Do you have a girlfriend?” he asked, looking so hopeful that Shouyou wanted to throw up on the carpet. He hadn’t seen his uncle look so happy since he found out he was interested in volleyball, a sport where the biggest and best could compete. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How Shouyou wished he could say that he had a girlfriend and keep that joy on the elder’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou’s teeth pulled at the skin on his lower lip nervously. “No, no girlfriend yet,” he said, his uncle’s joy not disappearing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not yet? As in you might get one?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uncle,” Shouyou reminded, the man blinking and clearing his throat to calm himself. When Shouyou was sure his uncle would not interrupt, he shifted onto his other foot. “Ever since I was a kid, I thought girls were cute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As you should,” the man said, but when Shouyou offered him a pleading look, he silenced himself again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But,” Shouyou continued, not missing the way his uncle’s eyes shifted from pure joy to skepticism. “…but I also thought guys were as well,” he said slowly as if to help his uncle process his words. He kept his gaze on the ground, not daring to look his uncle in the eye after the confession.  “And so, whenever the topic came up about dating, I never really pictured one person in my head. It was always ‘this girl is my type but this guy would be my type too’”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His uncle didn’t say a word this time, Shouyou taking in a much-needed breath of air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to tell you that having a girlfriend...it’s possible, but I don’t think that it’s the only possibility. Does…does that make sense?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lack of response had been expected, but it sounded so much more silent when his heart sounded so loud in his ears. His nails dug painfully into his palms as he waited patiently. He knew it was a lot to take in, but he still wished his uncle would say </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You done?” the elder asked coldly as Shouyou shot his gaze up to stare at him. His uncle was red in the face, lips pressed into a thin line and arms crossed so tightly that it looked as if he were holding himself back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou hesitated. “A..are you angry?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His uncle moved closer, reaching out as Shouyou’s eyes squinted in confusion. A moment later, he was being shoved against the door. “Get out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou’s heart dropped. “Uncle…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s your uncle?” The man snapped, effectively cracking Shouyou’s confidence until it was falling into pieces at his feet. “I believe I told you to get out. I listened to your little fantasy, now let me go to sleep.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou shook his head, eyes growing glassy as he fumbled over his words desperately. “It isn’t a fantasy. I like girls and guys. That is real and one day I’ll have a family just like you said but it could be a family that isn’t the same as the oth—” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouyou.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—ers! And there is nothing wrong with my future family maybe being different,” Shouyou continued, positively rambling now. “I’m not…there isn’t anything wrong with how I am. Why else would I be this way? Why would there be people who are still friends with someone like me?” he demanded, needing some kind of assurance that he wasn’t in the wrong here.  “Uncle, I am not a bad person!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His uncle watched him for a long while, or at least, that is what it felt like. Shouyou was panting, having spoken his piece yet feeling anything but peaceful. He felt as if he’d started a war, but whether the enemy was himself or his uncle he hadn’t figured out yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You…” his uncle began, not sounding angry in the slightest. He sounded as if he’d long expected what he was being told, but was also unable to process it had happened.  “I knew it from that day you were watching that crap on the television. With all the queers and their infected brains.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t…it </span>
  <em>
    <span>isn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> crap, it is a celebration,” Shouyou whispered with a look of disbelief. “Why can’t I,” he began, attempting to salvage the confidence as best he could. “Why can’t I be allowed to celebrate who I love too?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His uncle let out a humorless laugh, shaking his head. “You lied to me. You really are one of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t lie!” Shouyou denied, both hurt and angry at the accusation.  “I was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>child</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he defended. “I didn’t know who I liked at that time!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lowered his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or...I did, but I just couldn’t understand,” he said, a bit weaker than he’d started. “But I know now that I like who I like. That’s a fact no one can change. Not even you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His uncle shoved him toward the door again, this time opening it once they were close enough, but Shouyou refused, moving under his arms and standing in the middle of the room with his arms outstretched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get </span>
  <em>
    <span>out</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said you would listen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The elder moved passed him as if he wasn’t there, fixing the sheets on the bed despite having done it earlier. “I did listen, and now I want you out. No family member of mine will take part in such a disgusting lifestyle. You chose to do the opposite of what I told you and for that you’re good for nothing. Your poor mother, never getting the grandchildren she always wanted.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What little resolve Shouyou had crumbled as he watched his uncle’s back with red eyes. “Take that back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? I thought we were talking about facts!” his uncle exploded, looking at him with wild eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou reached out, gripping the back of the man’s shirt as he used to when he was scared of storms. He was trembling, but he refused to go on such an awful note. He knew his uncle could understand if he tried because somewhere, the man had to love him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And if he loved him, then he would have to come around, right? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, just think about it…” Shouyou whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had expected his uncle to yell until his face turned red, scream until his mother or Natsu came in wondering what had happened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t expected to be stumbling back into the guest room dresser as pain bloomed in his cheek, moving up to his temple and towards the back of his head. The sound of something crashing to the ground fell on deaf ears, his mind too focused on the throbbing that made him fully aware of what had happened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands held the area carefully, mind static and quiet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The elder man’s hand was still raised as if moving in for another strike. “Don’t you </span>
  <em>
    <span>dare </span>
  </em>
  <span>touch me,” he hissed. “Now,” he said as he grabbed the front of Shouyou’s shirt, leading him out of the room and shoving him out of the door forcefully. Shouyou hit the ground with a crash, looking up to see the man staring down at him with a snarl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He parted his lips to speak, but his uncle beat him to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t. You don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>exist</span>
  </em>
  <span> to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door slammed a second later, Shouyou sitting wordlessly on the floor of the hall. He wanted to get back up and break the door down. He also wanted to cry and curl into himself, because that had gone worse than he had imagined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only when Shouyou came to the startling realization that what he wanted didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>matter</span>
  </em>
  <span> that he got to his feet, body both heavy and light at the same time. He headed towards the bathroom to get the first aid kit, knowing for sure his face would cause more problems later once his mother found out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natsu’s voice echoed in the hall and had him stopping where he stood. He turned around as quickly as he could to get to his room, but she was too fast for his distracted brain to avoid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he kept walking despite her gasp as she reached his side. She tugged at his shirt sleeve urgently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nii-chan! Your face is all red!” she cried out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just hit myself in the face with a volleyball, Natsu,” he spoke, voice sounding off even to his ears. He raised his hand to ruffle her hair as gently as he could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But—!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And don’t tell mom yet,” he said as he reached his room. “I don’t want to worry her. Have a good night.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t look at her as he shut the door, pressing his back to it after making sure it was locked. His legs went weak as he crumbled to the floor, a pained breath leaving his lips. It sounded like a whimper, and he quickly bought both hands up to smother the sound before another could escape. He felt his tears slip down his cheeks, hot and angry. He remained that way, trembling shoulders and strangled sobs doing nothing to settle the disappointment that flooded his body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket did he pull his thoughts back and away from what had happened. He unlocked the phone, irritation flooding his body at how his hands still shook. After the third time entering his code, he was able to read the message with a breath of surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(10:24)Bateyama:  You up?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(10:25)Decoy: Yeah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment of thought, he began typing again. He sent the message without a thought, knowing nothing could get worse for him anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(10:27)Decoy: I told my uncle about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(10:28)Bateyama: Told him what?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(10:28)Decoy: About what we talked about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(10:29)Bateyama: And? How did he react? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou didn’t answer, feeling a fresh wave of tears spill over as he dropped the phone, arms wrapping around his knees tightly. He had to calm down, he knew it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet when the calm came, it scared Shouyou more than the sobbing had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His legs went slack, as did his arms. He straightened his legs, arms falling to his sides and hitting the floor lifelessly. His gaze was trained on his bed: messy and cluttered. His heartbeat too fast in his chest, but his mind couldn’t care about it this time around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou could hear Natsu’s little fists knocking against the door, ordering him to let her in so she could take care of his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His phone began to vibrate before his ringtone went off, showing that he was getting a call. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shutting his eyes tightly, he pretended he couldn’t hear. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Then You Look Around—See There's No One Left</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Do you think I’m a good person, Natsu?” he whispered, not receiving any answer from the girl that had been too exhausted to remain awake once they’d laid down. </p><p>Shouyou had known, that even with her answer, it wasn’t something she’d ever be able to determine for him.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shouyou felt too light to exist when he woke up. He had fallen asleep at some point with his cell phone buzzing and Natsu nearly crying outside his door, so waking up to genuine silence had him feeling disoriented. His head ached, along with his body from his position against the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A knock on his door had him wincing and scrambling away from the door and to his bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nii-san…” Natsu’s voice came through, sounding sleepy. He eyed the clock, surprised to see that it was about one in the morning rather than time to get up and ready for his weekend run. The fact that Natsu was awake this late had to mean she was too worried to sleep, and the guilt ate at him for worrying her so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt relieved she wouldn’t need to wake early, not wanting to have sent her to daycare exhausted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood, walking to the door and opening it slowly to see Natsu with an ice pack in hand and a box of sweets. He watched as she tried to smile, but it crumbled once she saw his face as tears welled in her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did you lock me out?” Natsu whimpered as she dropped the items in hand, launching forward to hug his leg. Shouyou stumbled back slightly at the action, immediately leaning down and wrapping his arms around her to soothe her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Natsu,” Shouyou murmured with a sigh. “Sometimes things need to be dealt with alone first,” he tried to explain as she pulled away. She shook her head vigorously to the point that Shouyou worried she’d give herself a headache. She didn’t say a word, as if her head shaking was enough to get the point across. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Shouyou offered. “I was just tired and stressed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well then be tired and stressed with me,” Natsu insisted with a final sniff. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, fine. I want to sleep, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natsu raised her hands in the air without question, Shouyou lifting her and hugging her close as he moved to this bed. He laid down, the five-year-old in his arms not letting him go as she kept her eyes closed. Shouyou stared at the ceiling for a few moments, feeling his own eyes beginning to droop at the less than exciting view. He allowed them to close as he listened to Natsu’s steady breathing, the cricket noises outside his window, and even the sound of the wind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think I’m a good person, Natsu?” he whispered, not receiving any answer from the girl that had been too exhausted to remain awake once they’d laid down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou had known, that even with her answer, it wasn’t something she’d ever be able to determine for him.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Shouyou walked through the hall that Monday with intent, headed towards the roof. He avoided everyone, which he should have known would cause some kind of ruckus among his classmates considering his face. He did his best to smile, as usual, playing the clumsy card and watching as their faces melted into relief. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You gotta watch it, Shouyou! How clumsy can one guy be!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His steps grew faster as he moved up the staircase, skipping steps until he finally reached the door to the roof. He slammed it open and took in a gulp of air, allowing the heavy pants to calm into small exhales. He raised his head to the sky, letting the sun wash over him and trying his best to work up the nerve to be as nonchalant about his face to his team like he was to his classmates. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hinata, what the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span> happened to your face?!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes popped open at the voice, staring up to see Sugawara staring down at him with equally wide eyes. The setter jumped down from his perch above the door, Shouyou turning with a deep frown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he’d been doing such a good job at avoiding the third year today. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hinata,” Sugawara spoke again once he’d hopped down, the ginger laughing nervously and crossing his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You found me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t shrug, that looks…” Sugawara began, but when he met Shouyou’s eye, he shook his head and instead shifted gears. “What happened?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou parted his lips to speak, but his vision grew blurry the moment he attempted to vocalize the lie. His body once again felt heavy, and it was then that Shouyou truly understood the weight of lying to someone like Sugawara. He hated lying to his friends, but something about the way the setter was looking at him had him wanting to spill the world to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was different than with Kageyama, who Shouyou had taken a chance on and was pleasantly surprised. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew that Sugawara would accept him no matter what because that was just who he was as a person. He was kind, caring, and supportive of anyone and everyone. He was like a saint and Shouyou wanted so badly to accept his kindness while he still had the chance to experience it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the small possibility of Sugawara hating him just like his uncle did had him unable to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hinata.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou let out a smile as a last-ditch effort. “Don’t look so serious, Sugawara-san,” he teased. “It doesn’t even hurt much anymore and if I keep icing it—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is </span>
  <em>
    <span>after</span>
  </em>
  <span> icing it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” Shouyou tried again, the hand on his face making him flinch away. The intake of breath at his action had his stomach-churning, the feeling familiar and unwelcome.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did...someone do this to you?” Sugawara asked after a brief pause, ghosting a thumb across the area as if worried he’d hurt Shouyou if he touched it. It had Shouyou’s heart clenching in a way that had him pulling away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. It was my mistake,” Shouyou replied, raising one arm to touch the back of his neck while the other rested on his hip. “Super clumsy and all that, you know?” he continued, turning away from the setter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara let out a small breath, raising a hand to gently touch the hair on his head. “Hinata, you would tell me if something was wrong...right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Shouyou promised, shoulders even heavier. “I trust you more than I trust most people!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara went silent. Shouyou thought the issue was dealt with until Sugawara hummed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then trust me enough to tell me how you got that gash.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata’s smile fell. “I did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you didn’t,” Sugawara insisted. “Even the clumsiest people wouldn’t be able to fall in a way that they got injured like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou heard the other’s steps, not at all surprised when the setter stood in front of him with an expression he couldn’t read. He reached out and took Shouyou’s hand, not missing the small cuts there either. He sighed deeply, raising it to his lips and kissing the area. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Entranced, Shouyou watched the action, dizzy as he tried to make sense of it all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soft lips and eyes that made Shouyou want to run and stay at the same time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou wasn’t sure he could face something so soon, however, and so pulled his hand away as if he’d been burned and shook his head. “I’m…I’m sorry I can’t…” he whispered breathlessly, running past Sugawara and down the stairs. He could hear Sugawara calling for him, but kept running despite the way his legs ached and begged for rest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ran until he was out of school and then some. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ran until he was sure no one would find him, collapsing in a heap of fear and pity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And from there, he crawled into the corner of the building, shutting his eyes and willing his brain to shut off if just for a little while.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>It only took an hour for him to realize how awful an idea it was to leave school to hide in an abandoned building was. He swallowed hard, knowing he’d not only get an earful from his team and teachers but from his mother as well. His father, being as busy as he was, probably wouldn’t ever hear of the news knowing his mother’s caring nature. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That didn’t mean he wouldn’t get some kind of punishment, though. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou’s brain moved onto the next worst thing: missing </span>
  <em>
    <span>practice</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He loved volleyball: the way it felt when he got a spike passed blockers. The way it felt when he and Kageyama managed to do their freak quick and people watched in awe at their skills. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the court, he was a freak and a threat but so was Kageyama and it was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Off of it, however, he was only one of those things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And there was no one around to understand how awful it felt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Irritated at his lack of strength, he shoved a fist towards the wall and hissed at the pain that bloomed in his knuckles. It didn’t stop the tears that formed, but it did give him something to use as an excuse for them. Part of Shouyou wanted to run off his anger at his situation, but the other part was far too exhausted to even consider standing, let alone running. His mind, foggy from a lack of quality sleep and proper rest, couldn’t even properly think without giving up after a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou hit the wall again, a tremor of pain moving up his arm this time. He let out a gasp of pain, sitting on his knees and cradling the hand. As if coming to his senses, Shouyou let out a giggle, before it turned into a full-on laugh at his actions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>God, this was stupid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moved to lay on his back, arms out and body as relaxed as it could be all things considered. He yawned, eyes drooping after minutes of lying so still. He was shocked awake at the feeling of his phone in his pocket, having forgotten he had it on him. He could have sworn he left it in his bag before remembering that Daichi had reminded him to keep it on him for volleyball reasons. He smiled a tiny bit at the memory. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if sensing what he was thinking about, the phone went off rapidly, Shouyou getting real tired of being startled by everything and anything. He opened the message after a moment of deliberation, giving it a once over. He let out a soft breath at the message, knowing who it was just from the first sentence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(4:34) Where the hell are you, dumbass? Your classmates said they didn’t see you after lunch. You better not have skipped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he was about to respond, he received another message. This was one he hadn’t been expecting, hands going cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(4:35) Hinata, where are you? Did I do something earlier? I hadn’t meant to startle you. I’m concerned. So is the team. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A knot formed in his stomach, a groan leaving his lips at how idiotic he was being. Just because he couldn’t explain it now didn’t mean he had needed to run away! He could have just… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou moved to sit up with a frown. What else could he have done?  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t as if they would have listened to the reason even if he had managed to somehow choke it out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou was shocked at how he could think such a thing about his team, knowing full well it was a blatant lie. Sugawara and Kageyama had shown multiple times that they would be there for him regardless of his pitfalls: not that his sexuality would be considered one. Even if it did scare him…Shouyou refused to listen to his uncle’s words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There wasn’t anything wrong with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>infected</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling the phone closer, he reopened the messages. He began with Kageyama, having a feeling it’d be easier to think of what to say to him than to Sugawara. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(5:00) Sorry, Will explain tomorrow. A lot going on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Short, simple, sweet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kageyama responded almost instantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(5:01) took you long enough. And fine, but you are going to practice until you hurl next time I see you. We already lost an hour of practice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou chuckled, glad that despite all the crap Kageyama knew, he still treated him exactly the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Normalcy was exactly what he needed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reread Sugawara’s message, chewing at his lip before typing out a response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(5:05) I’ll explain tomorrow. I promise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sent it and felt slightly relieved, shutting his eyes. He moved to stand, ready to start the trek home. The thought of his bed after everything that happened was enough to make him want to just lie back down on the floor and sleep there. As he leaned against the wall and questioned his life choices, he felt the phone begin to buzz in his hand again, raising to his ear cautiously when it was a number he didn’t recognize. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like hell, you will explain tomorrow!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou’s eyes went wide, pulling the phone away from his ear. He could still hear the setter’s voice even after doing so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You better tell me where the hell you are right now or so help me, I’ll find you myself and drag your ass back here and make you kneel to everyone and beg for their forgiveness!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Too shocked at the fact that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sugawara</span>
  </em>
  <span> of all people was yelling at him, Shouyou swallowed hard and looked around the room awkwardly. His cheeks burned in embarrassment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The…the old abandoned building on the way to my house,” he whispered, unsure of whether Sugawara even knew where the building was. “It has a hole in the fence that I climbed through so no one could follow me in the back…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The line went dead: Shouyou wondering why he felt a new wave of anxiousness wash over him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slid his back down the wall to sit as he waited, knowing for sure if he left now Sugawara would not have any mercy on him.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“Hinata?! Hinata!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara’s voice echoed in the large building, Shouyou standing and listening carefully. When he heard the footsteps getting closer, he moved towards the entrance to his room, only to come face to face with him. Sugawara was panting heavily, eyes scanning him as he stepped into the room. Shouyou stepped back as he did so, only for Sugawara to not stop until his arms were wrapped around the freshman tightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Su—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up for a second,” Sugawara whispered, holding onto him as if he’d disappear if he let go. Shouyou awkwardly raised his hands, patting the other on the back and trying his best not to melt into the other’s chest. While not the time, Shouyou couldn’t help but think about how nice it was to have someone taller than him hugging him in such a way. He felt oddly safe, shutting his eyes and letting out a sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You idiot,” Sugawara continued after a brief pause, voice relieved rather than frustrated. “You small little idiot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou let out a sound of insult, but instead of commenting, squeezed the other tightly to show he didn’t appreciate it. Sugawara chuckled at the action, pulling away once he’d calmed, hands moving up to Shouyou’s face to assure it was him and he was safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Under the gaze, Shouyou remembered what had caused this all and bit his lower lip. “Sorry. For this, I mean,” he murmured, not missing how Sugawara’s eyes flickered in amusement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What a lame apology,” the elder of the two whispered. “Definitely like you. If your cheek wasn’t bruised I’d sic the 2nd years on you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou perked up, fingers picking at the skin around his nail. He wasn’t sure how to respond to that: whether he should laugh or be concerned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You…you came,” Shouyou said with a bit more awe than intended. Sugawara’s eyes narrowed at the words, Shouyou figuring that wasn’t the right thing to say at this point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You disappeared from school,” Sugawara said with a low tone. “Did you think no one would wonder where you went? That no one would come the moment they knew where you were?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The look on his face alone was enough to have Sugawara sighing deeply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...I’m sorry,” Shouyou repeated, realizing how serious the situation probably seemed from everyone else’s perspective. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>From </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sugawara</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t your fault,” Shouyou said quickly, realizing why Sugawara was probably so worried. “What you did…how you treated me was fine. I didn’t mind it at all. It was all me. I’ve been…having some issues lately,” he insisted. “I actually liked it a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Confusion spread across Sugawara’s face at the confession. “Why’d you run off, then? When you weren’t at practice I thought you had gotten hurt or something. Daichi and Kageyama were the first to call on the search party. Luckily you texted me as I was about to follow them all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just needed to breathe,” Shouyou sighed out, frowning at the thought of riling everyone up.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you couldn’t do that somewhere where people could find you?” Sugawara scolded, still holding Shouyou’s face in his hands and not looking as if he wanted to let go, “Not even telling the great Sugawara-senpai where the hell you had gone?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing the statement, Shouyou cracked a smile and leaned into his hands. “I am sorry for worrying you, Sugawara-san. I promise I won’t just disappear next time,” he assured. He raised a hand to place over Sugawara’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara’s smile faded when he caught sight of it, brows furrowed. “Your hand,” he started, about to grab it when Shouyou pulled away. He held the hand behind his back and shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t bad,” Shouyou promised, but when Sugawara reached towards him he jerked back in response. The setter hesitated for a moment, raising both hands to show he wouldn’t grab without asking beforehand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to look at it for a moment. Is that okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brown eyes met hazel. Shouyou wanted to say no. He wanted to refuse and then they could both head out and he could take care of it himself. So why did his body allow him to reach his hand out to Sugawara? Why did the look of relief on his expression warm Shouyou’s heart so much? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you. Let me know if it hurts, got it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou could only nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara looked over the small scrapes and open wounds, clicking his tongue at the sight. “You did a number on yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hadn’t meant to break the skin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara raised a brow. “Why would you hit something hard if you weren’t trying to hurt yourself?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pausing, Shouyou leaned forward in curiosity. “How did you know I hit something hard? It could have been from falling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara trailed his fingers around the open scrapes and cuts as Shouyou held his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The shaping. You had to have hit something hard enough that the skin splits apart like this,” he explained, shaking his head. “Remember that your hands are precious, Hinata. You are a blocker and spiker, aren’t you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought sent a new wave of panic over him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will I still be able to play?! Kageyama is going to kill me,” Shouyou whispered. “If I can’t play volleyball what am I going to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou looked up at Sugawara in pure panic, the setter’s eyes were soft and amused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span> is the Hinata I remember. You have looked so tired and pale lately that I wondered whether you could even raise your voice anymore,” he teased, earning a blush from the shorter male. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara looked down at his hand again, raising it to his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you…” Shouyou began, pausing when he felt the other’s lips press against the first knuckle gently. He repeated the action with the rest. He wondered whether Sugawara could hear his heartbeat from where they stood. His mind then wandered to why Sugawara seemed to have a thing about kissing his knuckles, finding that even if he did, it wasn’t minded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A second later he was pulled forward, inches away from Sugawara’s face. Shouyou couldn’t even move, too focused on the severe lack of personal space and how easy it would be to—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to your house,” Sugawara said quietly, interrupting his train of thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…</span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> can’t,” Shouyou corrected quickly, earning a look from the setter.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not? Your mom loves me,” Sugawara said with a slight grin. “And I am obligated to. Setter’s duty. As my spiker, you are my responsibility when Kageyama isn’t around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sugawara-san…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, Senpai. The best senpai at that,” Sugawara corrected. Hinata would have laughed if not for the nervousness that he felt in the pit of his stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Senpai,</span>
  </em>
  <span> I can take care of it, promise!” he said with a nod, “When have I ever gotten an injury I couldn’t take care of?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara considered the words, Shouyou shifting from one foot to the other as he waited. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” the setter said, as Shouyou sagged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay!” Shouyou repeated as he moved to walk away, the grip on his hand not loosening and pulling him back. He groaned at the feeling of his sore muscles being yanked on, looking down at his hand and then back at Sugawara. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you still holding onto me?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never said I wouldn’t go to your house” Sugawara clarified, beginning to walk with the ginger in tow. “I just said that I would let you take care of it, which I will. Under my supervision, of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou blanched but allowed the other to pull him along. “Now wait a minute…” he tried but Sugawara gave him a glare that would put Kageyama to shame. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quieted down and allowed the other to lead him towards the bus stop with a fluttering heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This…couldn’t end well.  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. I Really Need That Feeling Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After getting off the bus, the walk was silent save for the sounds of the city and their footsteps. Usually, he would be ecstatic at Sugawara visiting his house. He would feel so excited that he’d be sprinting up the mountain and carrying the setter if he needed to. </p><p>“Sugawara, seriously you don’t have to go,” Shouyou said with a small laugh. There was an edge to his tone that he was sure Sugawara didn’t miss. He kept his grip on the setter’s arm, pulling back towards the bus stop. “It’s dark and you no doubt are tired from all that running so you could totally go home and I would not hold it against you whatsoever.”</p><p>Turning to stare at Shouyou, Sugawara paused. “Either you walk like a big boy, or I’ll pick you up like the child you are acting like,” Sugawara said with a tense grin, effectively shutting the ginger up.</p><p>“I’ll walk…” Shouyou muttered, earning a head pat from Sugawara. </p><p>‘Should I run again?’ Shouyou thought to himself, eyes darting around the area. ‘No, too dark. I’d get lost and then really need someone to come find me.’</p><p>As if sensing his thoughts, Sugawara’s grip on his wrist tightened. Shouyou whined but did his best to keep up with the other’s pace.</p><p>Shouyou braced himself as they reached his front door, the memory of yesterday washing over him to the point that he stumbled, stunning Sugawara with his lack of coordination. </p><p>“Are you alright?” Sugawara asked as Shouyou swallowed and nodded. He straightened up, Sugawara placing a hand on his lower back for support. </p><p>“I’m gonna…” Shouyou said quietly, only to realize he had no bag. </p><p>Without his bag, he had no <em> house key</em>. </p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Shouyou groaned, slamming his head against the door. </p><p>“What, why?” Sugawara asked, Shouyou turning to him and pouting at his idiocy.</p><p>“My key…it’s in my bag….” </p><p>Seeming to understand the predicament, Sugawara snorted, raising a hand to cover his mouth as Shouyou flushed in the face. </p><p>“Now isn’t the time to be laughing!” </p><p>“But it’s funny!” Sugawara defended, looking at the door until he could control his laughter. “And why not just ring the doorbell? Someone is home, right?” </p><p>“Yeah, but…” Shouyou mumbled, missing how Sugawara had leaned forward to ring the bell a few times. If only he knew who else was home, he might not have been as quick to do such a thing.   </p><p>The one who opened the door was the last person he’d wanted to do so, his uncle as stern-faced as ever standing there with a look that Shouyou knew meant he was angry. </p><p>“Your mother and Natsu left to go look for you.” </p><p>Shouyou knew there was more he wanted to add to that statement, but Sugawara stepped forward to bow his head at the elder. </p><p>“I apologize on behalf of Hinata, sir. We should have kept a better eye out. He seems to have been having a hard time lately,” Sugawara said as Shouyou gripped his wrist tightly. </p><p>“Sugawara-senpai,” he warned, but his uncle just grunted at them both, turning without so much as thanks. If Sugawara had been surprised at the reaction or lack thereof, he made no mention of it. </p><p>“Get inside. We have to talk,” his uncle said, turning as Shouyou slowly let go of Sugawara. The setter still kept his hold on him, however. </p><p>“I have to go…” Shouyou murmured. </p><p>“We still need to talk too, so I’m not leaving yet. I should be the one to talk to your mother as well to assure her this won’t happen again. Just part of being a senpai,” Sugawara said easily, Shouyou parting his lips to speak when his uncle called him from inside the house. He tensed, quickly entering and turning to the setter. </p><p>“Then… would you like to come in?” </p><p>Sugawara, smiling wide, hummed and nodded. “Thought you would never ask.”  </p>
<hr/><p>Standing in front of the door has Shouyou dizzy with nerves. </p><p>It was almost the same scenario he had been in not even three days prior, except now Sugawara was here and his mother and Natsu were out. </p><p>Still, Shouyou felt as if he were alone in the house with the man that had disowned him without a second thought. He knocked on the door twice, hearing a grunt and taking that as his signal to enter. The door creaked—he hated that damn door—as he stepped into the room, closing it behind him</p><p>His uncle stood at the far end of the room, looking out the window. He turned once he was sure Shouyou was in the room, said teen keeping his eyes on the man. He hadn’t been able to before, but now…he had to at least try. </p><p>His uncle looked away first as he cleared his throat. </p><p>“I was out of line.”</p><p>“Yeah, well I don—ha?” Shouyou demanded, confused and wondering if he had heard right. He leaned forward, daring his uncle to repeat himself. </p><p>The elder raised a hand to his head, pushed the hair down out of habit. “I said, I was out of line. I shouldn’t have hit you,” he said gruffly. “It...looks bad...your face.”</p><p>Shouyou paused, expression growing dark as he raised a hand to the bandage that covered the injury. “That tends to happen when you get smacked by a person wearing rings,” he replied quietly. He could see his uncle visibly wince, though he wasn’t sure if it was at his tone or his blunt words.</p><p>What confused Shouyou the most was how he felt at the words rather than the words themselves. It was what he had been pleading to every god he could think of for, and yet hearing the words didn’t cool the fire burning him from the inside out. All it managed to do was add fuel to the flames and cause the familiar rush of nausea to hit his gut. </p><p>It made all the hours grueling over this seem pointless, as well as made Shouyou’s struggle seem nothing more than a trivial concern to his uncle. Shouyou had lost sleep and hunger over this all and his uncle was stood there trying to apologize by simply saying he hadn’t <em>meant </em>to do what he did. </p><p>It was bullshit. </p><p>“Is that all you wanted to say?” Shouyou said while clenching his fists, wanting nothing more than to just return to his room and spend time with Sugawara before he left. </p><p>“I just…” his uncle began, sighing heavily and shaking his head. “I can’t understand you. You are a confused child but you <em> insist </em>…”</p><p>“I’m not confused,” Shouyou cut off easily, eyes never leaving his uncle. “I might have been when I told you, but now I’m absolutely positive about me liking boys. Maybe even more than girls.”</p><p>He wasn’t sure where this confidence had come from, but the anger simply helped get these words out much more easily than the first time he’d tried to come out. </p><p>“You—!” his uncle started as Shouyou glared. </p><p>“What about <em> me </em>?!” Shouyou exploded. </p><p>“You can’t be angry at how I feel when you dropped it on me without a care in the world!” </p><p>Shouyou let out a laugh, pushing his hair from his eyes at how everything came back to his uncle. “This isn’t about you!” he clarified, regaining a semblance of composure. “It never was. <em> I </em> like boys. <em> I </em> am the one that came out. <em> I </em>am bisexual and you can’t be angry about something that was never about you to begin with. You’ll never be able to control how I feel or what I do and why you ever wanted to, I will never be able to wrap my head around.”</p><p>He was panting by the end of his rant, his uncle staring him down for a few tense minutes. He raised his hands in surrender, but Shouyou knew this was far from over. Even then, the feeling of being able to get off his chest what he’d been holding for years felt somewhat empowering. </p><p>“Fine,” the man spoke, “But this doesn’t mean I accept it,” he clarified, eyes shifting around the room.</p><p> Shouyou raised a brow. “You aren’t family. Why would I care whether you accept it or not?” </p><p>The words came out much harsher than intended, but the meaning was all the same.</p><p>“Don’t push it, Shouyou,” his uncle warned, hands twitching at his sides. </p><p>“What was the real point of this?” Shouyou questioned, earning his uncle’s full attention at the words. “To lessen the guilt you had for hitting me? If you can’t even attempt to understand, then what good is an apology at all? You still disowned me, if you don’t remember. You said I didn’t exist to you, so why does anything that you do matter to me? Why does anything I do matter to you?”</p><p>The elder moved stepped forward, though instead of feeling fear, Hinata had a moment of clarity. Even as the fear flashed through him, he stood his ground and felt how the elder grabbed him by the front of his shirt. Shouyou continued despite the action.</p><p>“I don’t need your approval of all people, especially people like you,” he spoke, face expressionless. “I told my teammate and he accepted me without a doubt. And I’m sure if I told the rest my team, and my parents and Natsu…they wouldn’t care either.” </p><p>His uncle’s grip slowly loosened, ending with him shoving him away and back towards the door. Shouyou steadied himself, heart pounding against his ribs and throat dry. </p><p>“Do as you wish. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”</p><p>Hinata’s eyes went a bit wide. Was that…</p><p>“I don’t need your warning,” Shouyou replied, turning to the door and opening it. “I’m going to do what I want anyway.” </p><p>He left the room without waiting for a response, the door clicking behind him.</p>
<hr/><p>“You’re back. How was the talk? Was he mad?” </p><p>Shouyou stared at Sugawara, brain having remembered he was here but for some reason failing to remember that him being here meant he was in his room. He shut the door behind him and locked it, crumbling to the floor as Sugawara let out a shout of concern and scrambled to get to him from where he sat across the room. </p><p>“Hinata? Hey,” Sugawara whispered, hands on his shoulders. “You gotta talk to me if something is wrong, okay?” </p><p>“I’m okay,” Shouyou whispered, actually meaning it this time. “I’m just…really tired,” he admitted, feeling everything begin to rise as he shoved the palms of his hands into his eyes to try and buy some time. “And I’m scared and angry, and sad and I miss when I was younger and none of this even <em> mattered </em>—”</p><p>The more he ranted, the stronger the emotions became, building until they finally spilled out in the form of sobs and tears that racked his entire body. Sugawara didn’t speak again, but Shouyou knew he was probably staring at him with a pained expression if experience was anything to go by. Shouyou just continued to let it out, however, it spurred on more when the other wrapped his arms around him tightly and shoved his nose into his hair. </p><p>“You’re alright,” Sugawara agreed. “You’ll be alright.”</p><p>Shouyou felt like it was hours of him being on his bedroom floor, clinging to Sugawara as if he were the only thing anchoring him during this time. Even when Shouyou had cried himself to the point of no more tears, Sugawara didn’t make any motion to move away or get up to go home. </p><p>When Shouyou felt his eyes droop, he heard a chuckle from the setter and something warm against his forehead for a brief moment. </p><p>“Get some rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”</p><p>And so Shouyou did.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span> “Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> Nii-san is okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou could feel his consciousness returning, eyes slowly fluttering open as he shifted. He opened his eyes to see Sugawara sitting in a chair by his bed, Natsu sitting on his lap with a less than happy expression on her face. Neither had noticed him waking, probably because him shifting was a normal occurrence when he slept, and so he watched the two with a much lighter heart than he’d had in months. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Years, even. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m positive. If he isn’t okay, may Ursula and Triton come together to strike me down where I sit!” Sugawara whispered, holding up a finger and pointing it at his heart. He gasped dramatically before going limp, earning a giggle from Natsu at the acting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even Shouyou smiled a bit at the show, raising his hands to slowly clap for the setter. “Gotta say, you could join broadway with that talent,” he teased, both people staring at him with stars in their eyes and making Shouyou feel like he was the gold inside a treasure box. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re awake,” Sugawara whispered as Natsu practically leaped onto the bed without warning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hugged him tightly, Shouyou instinctively wrapping his arms around her as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m awake,” Shouyou echoed, squeezing his eyes shut and feeling the edges of sleep still threatening to pull him in. He forced his body to remain awake for the time being. “What time is it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Close to eleven,” Sugawara said, placing a hand on Shouyou’s chest as if knowing he would have shot up without it there as a reminder not to move quickly. “Don’t freak. I talked to your mother and she said I could take the guest room. Your uncle left earlier saying he had to be somewhere for work. He took his stuff so I’m not sure if he’ll be back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou nodded, taking in the information as Natsu sat up and flicked him on the forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mommy and I were scared!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Shouyou said apologetically. “I’ll make it up to you somehow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How?” Natsu demanded, Shouyou smiling at the tone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll let you pick my punishment. How about that?” Shouyou offered, Natsu still pouting but looking interested in the offer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine! But I’m gonna talk to mommy about it!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The child hopped off the bed and marched out of the room, leaving the teens alone to chuckle at the cute display of dominance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s got spirit, Must be a Hinata thing,” Sugawara complimented as Shouyou shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That girl is much braver than me,” he joked, shifting so he was sitting up in bed. “Today must have been extra crazy for you, huh?” he asked. “Having to find me, then me passing out when you’re the one that should be tired.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop that,” Sugawara said once he’d finished speaking, Shouyou straightening where he sat. “Stop downplaying what you’ve been through today. Yeah, today was taken in a direction I didn’t expect…but I wouldn’t change it. Knowing you are safe and that once I go home you’ll be here sleeping soundly…that’s worth all of this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou listened intently, cheeks heating at how nice it felt to have someone caring like this. Someone that wasn’t obligated like family to care. Someone that cared because they wanted to, not because they had to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Sugawara-senpai.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For?” the setter asked with a tilt of the head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Caring? I don’t know, just being here. With me. It means a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence in the room made both of them look away from each other. It was odd to not know what to say, but whenever Shouyou came up with something to break the tension, he managed to convince himself that it was not the right time to go down that path. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, ehem. If things are better now…mind telling me what was wrong in the first place? That led to all of this?” Sugawara asked, shifting from the chair to the edge of Shouyou’s bed.”It had to have been big if you were so torn over it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shifting again, Shouyou raised a hand to his hair and cleared his throat. “Ah, well…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was now or never, Shouyou knowing it was best to get this out while he was as calm as could be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I came out to my uncle,” he started, hearing Sugawara’s sharp intake of breath. “He disowned me and got angry I touched him so hit me,” he continued, voice wavering in a way that he hated. “And here we are! Me as bi as they come and him being so disgusted that he left while I was asleep!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Shou…” Sugawara whispered. “I’m so sorry I didn’t…if I had known I wouldn’t have pushed so hard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you did,” Shouyou assured with a sigh. “I knew you wouldn’t be like him but I…” he started, raising a hand to look at it carefully. “He always said those people were infected. That I was infected,” he admitted weakly. “I didn’t want to,” he started, only to cut himself off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara understood despite his attempt at censoring himself, eyes hardening. “You aren’t. There is no infection and you are fine the way you are. You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span> and I would never stop caring about you over something that should be celebrated” he said with a bit more bite to his tone, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. “Because no matter what you identify as you’re still my spiker and the team’s energy source.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou laughed, nodding and swallowing the remaining sadness about his uncle down. “Your spiker? Kageyama might have an issue with that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well, superiority and all that,” Sugawara said with a shrug. He paused, eyeing their connected hands for a moment and clearing his throat. “So bisexual?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A nod from Shouyou that was awfully shy considering how confidently he had come out not only a few hours before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you like girls and guys?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another nod. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyone pique your interest lately, then?” Sugawara asked slowly, hazel eyes watching him so closely Shouyou was sure he would be able to read his thoughts if he continued the way he was going. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, actually,” Shouyou shyly, finding no reason to hide anything from the elder now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I know them?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou squinted. “Why so curious? Going to scope them out for me?” he teased, Sugawara not laughing as brightly as he usually would. He fiddled with Shouyou’s fingers, avoiding eye contact. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could say that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well,” Shouyou sighed, “You don’t need to. He’s straight and even if he wasn’t…I could guarantee he wasn’t looking at me that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ay,” Sugawara said with a scrunch of his nose. “Anyone would be lucky to have you looking at them and be crazy to not look back!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou flushed in the face, scratching at his cheek before remembering the injury there. “You think?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know a catch when I see one, Trust me,” Sugawara said with a wink. “So tell me who it is. I might be able to…you know, help?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I told you they were on the team, would you still help?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara paused. “Oh, that does make things a little complicated. The rest of the team would also need to be in on this which means…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Shouyou said softly. “I know. But I’m not—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ready, of course,” Sugawara assured. “And well if it made you happy I wouldn’t care who it was on the team. As long as they treated you well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even if they were in their third year?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara’s eyes nearly popped out of his head at the news and he tightened his grip on his hand. “A third year? Not someone your age?” he asked incredulously. “The age difference…someone like that might not be as careful with you and that could have a lot of issues.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A realization. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, do you like Daichi?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Not as more than a friend and respected captain,” Shouyou assured. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kiyoko?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Asahi? Though I think he might have something starting with Noya if they got their head out of their asses,”  Sugawara said more so to himself than to Shouyou. The ginger laughed at the other’s obliviousness, both nervous and excited the closer he got to his answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not Asahi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But that only leaves me,” Sugawara said with a chuckle, Shouyou watching as he processed the concept of it. “Wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Took you long enough,” Shouyou grumbled. “Who knew confessions could be so difficult.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara went silent, Shouyou preparing for the inevitable. He let out another chuckle, this one quieter than the last. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be pressured to accept my confession just because of everything that’s happened,”’ Shouyou began while he picked at the blanket he had. “I already prepared for this and so—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouyou.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou felt his breath catch at the use of his first name, looking up to see Sugawara staring at him. Then, the setter was leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips. He froze, unable to breathe even when Sugawara pulled away. They continued to stare at each other for a long while, a goofy smile forming on Shouyou’s lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you. A lot,” Shouyou said as if it was his most precious secret. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm, good,” Sugawara said with a grin. “Or that kiss would have been </span>
  <em>
    <span>super</span>
  </em>
  <span> awkward.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since it wasn’t,” Shouyou hummed, biting his lower lip. “Could we…?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara chuckled, leaning in again. This time, he waited, Shouyou taking the hint and leaning in the rest of the way so their lips met once again. It started slow, a lot different than Shouyou’s first kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That one had been all dramatics and for show, while this one was strictly between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even when Sugawara hummed and swiped his long along Shouyou’s lower lip, the anxiety never returned. Even when Shouyou was turning red in the cheeks from how nice it was to kiss Sugawara, the fears never resurfaced. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was how Shouyou ended up lying back against his bed with Sugawara hovering over him, lips never breaking apart for more than a few seconds at a time. Shouyou moved his arms to latch around the other’s neck, pulling him even closer until he felt like he’d suffocated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time, he wished he would. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shou,” Sugawara whispered once they parted for air. “Will you go out with me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouyou nodded and played with the hair at the nape of his neck gently. “Would I be your boyfriend?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you wanted to be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The feeling that bloomed in his chest had him smiling even wider. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And we’d go on dates? And hold hands?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sugawara’s lips spread into a wider smile at the ideas. “Of course.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’d get to tell people? That we’re together?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When you were ready,” Sugawara reminded with Shouyou practically buzzing beneath him. A moment later he was pulled down into another kiss, this one quick and full of so much excitement that it left the setter breathless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, the anticipation was killing me,” Sugawara admitted as Shouyou laughed. It was loud and full of so much joy that it felt odd. Shouyou hadn’t laughed like this in as long as he could remember. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, with that out of the way,”’ Sugawara said playfully, “Let’s celebrate!” he said before diving in and pressing kisses to Shouyou’s cheeks, forehead, nose, and chin. Shouyou gasped, shoving at the other and laughing at the gestures. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Senpai!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you know you love it!” Sugawara teased as Shouyou’s eyes widened, a familiar warmth coming over him at the words.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Love</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This was… </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he admitted with a shaky breath, more so from excitement than fear. “I do. A lot.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Epilogue- We All Live Under The Same Sun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sugawara ponders how lucky he is to have someone like Shouyou in his life.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Sugawara Koushi</span>
  </em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Watching Hinata sleep was a surprisingly comforting task, Sugawara discovered. After seeing him stressing himself sick the past few months, it was almost like a weight off his chest to see him sleeping so peacefully. He pushed some of his orange hair from his face, pressing it back. When he let it go, it bounced back into its normal position, a chuckle leaving his lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Just how much stress were you under that you knocked out like that after sleeping already?’</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thought to himself, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead gently. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Figuring out that Shouyou returned his feelings after being sure of whether he was doing the right thing had been the best news he’d heard all year. He had been fearful that Shouyou would think he was using his power of being older against him, but it hadn’t been anything like that. Shouyou had known that he would never hurt him or do anything to make him feel uncomfortable. It had happened so smoothly that Sugawara had to keep pinching his arm to make sure he wasn’t the one asleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even when having proof he was awake, he wondered how he had managed to sneak into the heart of someone so volleyball obsessed. He had always thought that if anyone ended up with Shouyou, it would have to be someone as dedicated to the sport as he was, and Sugawara, while liking volleyball, knew it wasn’t his future. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it had led to a big part of him that he hoped would end up in his future. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sugawara shut his eyes, ready to try and sleep until his phone went off, vibrating against the nightstand. He grabbed it quickly, turning to Shouyou and letting out a breath when he saw the other was still peacefully asleep. He unlocked the phone, eyeing the message with squinted eyes due to the brightness of the screen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(1:12) Grumpy #9:  Did it work? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sugawara’s tired mind took a moment to process the words, fingers tapping away once it clicked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(1:13) Sugawara: Yeah. He confessed everything. That intuition of yours is truly horrifying, Kageyama-san.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(1:14) Grumpy #9: It wasn’t as much intuition as common sense. Half the team knew before you both did. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sugawara felt his face heat at the information, clearing his throat. He was going to talk with Asahi and Daichi the moment he got the school the next morning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(1:15) Sugawara: Yeah well…thanks. I thought you two would have a better chance than we would.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(1:15) Grumpy #9:  Hinata and I? Gross. Never.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He snickered, not at all surprised at how pleased the confirmation felt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(1:16) Funny, he had the same reaction. But thanks again, for the directions and all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shouyou shifted, snuggling up to the setter, flinching in his sleep when he touched the bandage on his cheek. Sugawara frowned, helping the first year adjust so he wasn’t placing pressure on the injury. Once Shouyou was comfortable, his expression smoothened out. Sugawara let out a soft breath, wondering how anyone could hit someone like Shouyou. He was always one of the happiest people in the room at any given time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fact that it had been his own uncle had a fierceness burning in his chest, arms wrapping around Shouyou now that he no longer needed to use his phone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As if wanting to play a prank, his phone vibrated again, flashing the light in his eyes and blinding him for a moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(1:19) Grumpy #9:  Just make sure he goes to practice from now on. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(1:20) Sugawara: Right. You should get some rest as well. Have a good night. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The third-year didn’t wait for a response, placing the phone on silent and putting it back on the nightstand. He wrapped his arms around Shouyou once again, cheek against his head and eyes closed in satisfaction. It was surreal that this was even his reality at the moment, the setter fully having expected to go home to his bed with his unrequited feelings. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not be lying in his crush-turned-boyfriend’s bed and holding him while he slept. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With his eyes closed, he found his thoughts wandering to his first practice with Shouyou: his bright smile and laughter enough to send Sugawara’s heart into a frenzy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘How embarrassingly scary,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought, amusement filling his mind as he began to drift off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘How much I like this guy.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
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